is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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