haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
its liver damage thursday
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
