let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
