Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
