You really coming over, don't trick.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
