O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was CRYING into my vagina
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
