if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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