She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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