Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
