I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
well you can't waste a boner
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
