Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
