Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
