Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
