Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
