He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
