He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
