i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
