whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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