oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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