let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
