His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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