I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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