Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
