i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
