DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
