What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
