i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
