he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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