Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
