Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
