how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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