Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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