So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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