Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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