the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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