Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
