i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
