we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
