There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
