Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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