I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
