North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
