worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry about my life...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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