She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
