On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
