census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
