This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
