a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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