Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
