Will you blow on my dice?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
